Welcoming 2020!

Happy new year!!

It’s been ages since my last post. I’ve been going through life, I forgot about writing, rather, It was always on my mind, i just couldn’t get the mood right. Somehow, I’ve discovered this about myself. I have to feel it in my bones for it to happen, it’s just not automatic.

Anyway, yesterday I got myself a wig. A nice human hair wig. My daughter walked into my bedroom as I was getting ready to shower ( It’s always a process). These little humans just never knock on the door!! So, she walked in and found me hairless, lol! The shock on her face was not one to be forgotten. Well, not that I am bald, I have cornrows underneath, of course. “Mummy?! where is your hair?!!” She was so shocked, my son heard her exclaiming and also came running into the room. “Raka, mummy has removed her hair!” she continued. “Oh my goodness! Mummy, whatyu doing?” My son reacted, he seemed so concerned. I tried not to laugh. I quickly got them out of the room, before they invited more audience (read bae), promising to join them in a few. Once children see you like this, somebody else will have to know. I actually thought I was safe, that they wouldn’t tell a soul, ha! so much for wishing. After my hot shower, I put on my short skirt and a tank top, put my hair back on my head and went to the living room to join the family. I had not even sat at the dining table for a minute when my daughter came for me ” Mummy, move your hair, let me move your hair, mommy, move your hair” She climbed my chair, ready to remove my wig! Bae was watching….and laughing…yap…he was laughing so hard!! “Zaria, mummy is wearing¬† horsy’s hair” ” Excuse me! which horse?This is my own hair” I exclaimed. ” Zaria, did you see mummy removing the hair?, was she scratching it?” Bae continued. ” HAHAHAHAHA!!” Zaria burst into an uncontrollable¬† fit of laughter “She was scratching it like this” I was floored! My daughter was lying! I did no such thing!. At this point am looking at these two really bored, but I also just want to laugh. I am assured that my son loves me at least, he was minding his business. “Is that a horse’s hair or human hair?” Bae still asks. “Am obviously human and I am not a horse, this is my own hair, me, a human being” I answered, really eager to be done with this hair story. Bae said I look nice, my son, daughter, they all said I look nice. Music to my ears. I haven’t bought a wig in a long time. The ones I bought previously never worked for me, I always got migraines whenever I wore them. I couldn’t wear any of them for two hours even. Also, I have really nice hair, so a wig has never been a necessity. Times change and people change too, salon trips wear me out sometimes, sometimes my hairstyles don’t even last as long as I want them to, so I thought, a wig would be a good change, for a short while at least. I haven’t had any headaches yet, so I think, this one can do me some good. I hope my kids will get used to my head when the wig comes off though.


Am looking forward to a good year. I haven’t made any resolutions though. I don’t want to. I never keep them when I do. Am learning to mind my business more. A friend of mine recently told me that sometimes we put so much emotion into what other people say, it gives us so much stress, changes our mood and yet they are things that shouldn’t even concern us. This especially applies to things we read social media. People share a lot on social networks, it’s always hard to tell what’s real and what’s fake. With everyone being entitled to their opinion, some don’t really augur well for us. I am learning to ignore those, snub, step. So if anyone writes something really annoying on social media, if it’s somebody you don’t even know on a personal level, you pass. As my friend says, this 2020, she just wants to be in good health and grow her hips.


In December last year, I discovered a very good recipe for fruit cake. So far, I have received rave reviews about my fruit cake. I am looking forward to sharing it more with several other people. This year, it’s all about building self, in business, in school, in social life and at work. Also, enjoying the little ones. Am not sure I should say it yet but I think I have successfully potty trained my 2 year old son. It happened so fast, took less than a week actually. I still can’t believe it, cos my daughter took quite some time to learn. Am guessing it was easier for the boy because he had been seeing his sister using the toilet. It took him a couple of days of constipation though, before he learnt, he was afraid of soiling his undies, so cute. When I put him on the toilet seat and insisted he stays there until he poops, that was the breakthrough…I had to keep saying ‘wow’ to motivate him. He used to tell me “mummy, say wow” This went on till he was done. I’m pretty sure the first few days i said wow about hundred times. We have now reduced the number of ‘wows’ to about fifteen. The only challenge is that he doesn’t say when he needs to pee pee or poo poo, I have to use ‘mommy intelligence’ to know when it’s time. He can hold it in for hours sometimes, it worries me when am not home. I hope he’ll learn to say it. We decided to have him start school when he’s three, so he’s still enjoying the house for a few more months.

oval mirror near toilet bowl
Photo by Christa Grover on Pexels.com

A fortnight ago, I reported a case to the cops. It was about sexual harassment. Long story but some random man, who also happened to be a night guard somewhere near home, decided to insult me because I ignored his catcalls. He called me names and threatened to beat and rape me,¬† I was furious!! It was early in the pm, I went to the police station near home and reported him. Am happy the police in charge took my case seriously. Surprisingly, there are some who don’t think it’s a big deal unless there was some physical altercation. It took a whole week of follow up though, when the man finally showed up at the station, the first thing he asked for was forgiveness and he blamed it on the alcohol. He kept begging. I told him I have to see his manager first before I think of closing his case. I haven’t had time to go see his manager, I will, eventually, doesn’t matter how long it takes, I have to. Am not doing it just for myself, but for every other girl or woman out there. We meet these type of uncouth people almost everywhere, sometimes in unexpected places like at work, these people must be reported and they must be disciplined. People with these kind of behaviors are capable of anything, mostly serious crimes. It wouldn’t be right to sit back and ignore tell tale signs, they have to be stopped before they do the worst. These people need to learn that women/girls are not objects and no, it’s not man’s nature to be disrespectful to women. Everyone has a duty to be accountable and moral standards shouldn’t differ between men and women, it’s the only way we make our world safe and it goes a long way. Next time you feel disrespected, whether by a man or woman, remember letting it pass could as well be encouraging it. Think about the kind of people you want your children to be around in future. Help create safe spaces!!



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